Unsent Letters

I recently came across this article by The New York Times about unsent letters. It talks about Abraham Lincoln and how when he  felt the urge to tell someone off, he would compose what he called a “hot letter.” He’d pile all of his anger into a note, “put it aside until his emotions cooled down,” Doris Kearns Goodwin once explained on NPR, “and then write: ‘Never sent. Never signed.’ ”

Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org

It seems this was/is a common practice among public figures. Its purpose is twofold. It serves as a type of emotional catharsis, a way to let it all out without the repercussions of true engagement. And it acts as a strategic catharsis, an exercise in saying what you really think, which Mark Twain (himself a notable non-sender of correspondence) believed provided “unallowable frankness & freedom.”

The article also reflects on how we may have switched the format from paper to screen, but the process is largely the same. We feel angry. And we think of a reply, maybe even write it. Emotions cooled, we proceed in a more reasonable, and reasoned, fashion. Or maybe not, because in the world of social media, the enterprise is far more public, and way easier. When Lincoln wanted to voice his displeasure, he had to find a secretary or a pen. That process alone was a way of exercising self-control. Now we need only click a reply button to rattle off our displeasures publicly, and our own fury seems more socially acceptable since others do it too.

There's even a website where you can spill the beans to someone.